turning unreasonable anxiety into unlikely ideas

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Magnets & Porcupines

It was a busy Sunday morning at the zoo. Many people had come to see the new animals that were up for display. Among the new additions, was a prickle of porcupines. Porcupines, mostly nocturnal, were annoyed by the sunlight and attention showered upon them. With help from a group of young volunteers, the zoo staff constructed a wooden hut inside the enclosure to keep the porcupines.

30 Something

30 Something Maverick

“A sudden smile is like a gentle sneeze, it relieves you and is best unnoticed. Laughter is like a fart, relaxing for you but awkward for others.” The performer paused looking for any reaction from the audience. Fewer people were laughing than the one cracking jokes. This was not what the organizer wanted. With a room full of people who paid for the event, something needed to be done and quick. As if a stroke of genius hit the organizer, she went up the stage and announced, “It is time to include you, our guests in the experience. We’ll randomly select a name from the guest list. She or he will get a chance to perform and an opportunity to win prizes.” In front of her was a glass jar with folded papers. She picked one and said, “The lucky person to get this chance is, Oved!”
“Oved, please come up on the stage. A large round of applause for Oved, everyone”
As the audience clapped in relief, Oved got up, hesitantly, from his seat. He stepped up on the stage and was blinded by the lights.
“Hello, Oved!” Peony handed a microphone to him.

Cape Disappointment

How to move Cape Disappointment

As an introvert, the last thing I like to do is express myself. I spend time finding ways to avoid stating things as they are. Eventually, they come out sugarcoated or sarcastic. My expressions end up indirect, far from the point and thus confusing to others.

So, after a day of introspection, I decided to write a post about myself. I opened a new document, typed ‘Dissappointing’ and instantly, the spell-check was disappointed. Apart from spell-checkers and compilers, I have been disappointing people from a long time. So, here’s a guided tour of [my] Cape Disappointment.

Ganges at Varanasi

Masaan

पहाड़ों पे हो या समंदर किनारे, हर शेहर की अलग शक्सीयत होती है| बैंगलोर में ‘लेक’ अनेक हैं, तो कभी कभी ज़िन्दगी भी ठेहेरने लगती है| फुरसत के साथी हैं किताबें और फिल्में| कई दिनों से नाम सुन रहा था तो आखिर कल ‘मसान’ देख ली| इसमें बनारस से दो कहानियों को पिरोया गया है|

Color pencils

The Consolation

There are kids who decide early what they want to be when they grow up. Then, there are kids, like me, who dread going to the barber because they don’t even want to decide the kind of haircut they want. Luckily, growing up I had to pick between short and medium haircuts.

Celebrations were in full swing as India turned 50. Schools, in particular, had elaborate plans. My school declared that the whole week leading to the 50th independence day would be celebrated. Each day there were events, competitions and the tricolor was everywhere on the campus. Tuesdays had a library period. We would sit at one of the long tables in the center of the library. Usually, the librarian asked us to pick books and read them for rest of the period. At the end, we would get that book issued for a week. I knew where my favorite books were. I had a sense of how books were categorized in the library. I had helped the librarian organize them once. I enjoyed reading and books were exciting.

However, that Tuesday, we had an art competition. It must’ve been told but I rarely remember such things. Some kids came prepared with crayons. Perhaps, the same kind of kids that know what they want to be. Perhaps, the kind that use multiple colors to write answers in exams. One for headings, another for answer and a special one to highlight things. I resorted to diagrams when I knew an answer very well. Otherwise, diagrams filled the space that an answer should have occupied but hasn’t. So, these kids started to draw. Since, the theme was Independence, they drew the Red Fort, soldiers, flags, and celebration.

The problem with art competitions is that they are, well, competitions. Their aim is to declare one expression better than the rest. Actually, it is difficult to compare expressions. Such competitions wouldn’t work if one kid draws a circle and another draws a square. So, they introduce themes and criteria must be set. This is a way of telling everyone to draw a square so they can be compared. We do not accept creativity without comparing. It would be overwhelming if kids were allowed to express. Art, dance, and even noise are medium.

I sat blank. All I could think of was a picture of Mahatma Gandhi from my Hindi text book. It was from a story by Gandhi. He didn’t have a watch so he used to guess time by looking at clouds. As with all guesses, it worked against him one day. He was late to school. He was punished despite telling the truth. One of his many experiments with truth.

Once, I was slapped despite being honest. It was reasonable, I thought, until a slap met my cheek and virtues met life. In fact, I was so convinced, that I had walked up to the teacher to explain that I couldn’t do homework because some guests visited us. They were in town to meet their relatives and we had to accompany them. We returned home very late and so, there was no time for homework.

“So, your relatives stopped you from doing homework?” She yelled and slapped me.

I returned to my desk with humiliation and confusion. Unlike Gandhi, I didn’t experiment with truth further. I stuck to lying whenever needed.

In the library, I started to draw Gandhi’s portrait. I had drawn it earlier, it started to look surprisingly well. The otherwise quiet and strict librarian watched over my shoulder. Then, she taught me how to shade the cheekbones. With a small piece of paper, she taught me how to smudge. I used that technique on the cheeks, the ear and forehead. Soon, there was a fair amount of interest in my drawing. Many stood around me watching as I gave finishing touches to the portrait. I felt happy and amazed that it turned out so good. When the time was over, we headed to our classroom. On the way back, I held the sketch with pride, occasionally stopping to show it to students.

A couple of days later, results were announced. Prizes were given for the first, then second and third place. Then, a number of consolation prizes were distributed. These were tiny gift wrapped boxes, just big enough to hold a light bulb. I didn’t get one. I don’t know why. Sometimes, I think they thought I cheated. Then, I think it was because they wanted colored drawings. Mine was a black and white pencil sketch. Maybe, the ear was disproportionately big, as our neighbor had pointed out. Maybe it was judged by people like my neighbor. I didn’t want a prize, but a consolation never hurts.

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