Turning unreasonable anxiety into unlikely ideas

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Shayar (poet)

कल एक शाएर के कमरे के बहार से गुज़रा
खिड़की से देखा वो कागज़ पे कलम रगड़ रहा था
उसमे से खुश्बो की तरह नज़्म उठ रही थी
मौका पा कर मैं एक पन्ना चुरा लाया
कोरे पन्ने ने घूरा तो लगा लिखना कठिन होगा,
कुछ पन्नों के कोने बटोर लिए हैं मैंने
जिनको जेब में सहेज के रखा है
गर कभी गुरुर होने लगे खुद पर,
उनको गिन गिन कर सामने रख लूँगा

minimal desktop

Minimal Desktop

I code on an Ubuntu VM running on Windows. The Ubuntu VM is just for coding, I prefer to keep it small, which makes cloning and snapshots faster. Too many snapshots have caused problems for me. I delete the older ones, which again, is faster for smaller VM.

So, I started creating a minimal Python dev environment. First, I thought of using Emacs only. But I like PyCharm a lot, it ships with Emacs keymap. Between several terminal sessions, I needed at least two GUI apps: IDE & Chrome.

For terminal sessions, I started using tmux, which is great. PyCharm also has a terminal tab but you can’t switch to it and back to editor screen smoothly. It is not a first-class citizen like the editor window.

Enter xmonad, which helps you get rid of all the desktop items. It tiles windows occupying the whole screen. No dock, toolbar or OS menus. Now, I manage desktop with xmonad and terminal sessions with tmux. Here’s how I set it up on Ubuntu:

sudo apt-get install tmux
sudo apt-get install xmonad

Configure xmonad. The official docs are simple enough to get started. To launch PyCharm you’ll need wmname.

sudo apt-get install wmname

Now, log-off and select xmonad to log-in

After login you’ll be greeted with a blank screen. Fear not and open a terminal.
Start a tmux session:
tmux new -s session-name

tmux lets you launch multiple windows and panes. Perhaps, avoid tmux panes and create multiple session using xmonad windows, if needed. Also, xmonad allows you to configure tiling algorithms.

tmux command are followed by a prefix  (default is is Ctrl-b, configure if you want)

Open a new terminal window:
Ctrl-b C

Now, you can launch Pycharm using:
wmname LG3D && ./pycharm.sh

Create as many windows as you want. Once you’re done, use the xmonad to switch to your IDE.

The problem is getting used to different keybindings. You can easily configure keybindings as needed. Once you are habitual, you’ll stop using the mouse.

Links:

http://xmonad.org/documentation.html

https://tmux.github.io/

http://tools.suckless.org/wmname

xmonad and PyCharm

paper_boats_hires

Lattu

लट्टू

खुद ही फीते बाँधने में जुट गया
इतना नाराज़ हो गया माँ से
फिर लट्टू लेकर घूमता रहा
कमरे से निकला
हवा से दरवाज़ा बंद हो गया
लट्टू अन्दर, बाहर डोर हाँथ में थी
बेवकूफी ने जोर लगाया तो टूट गयी


दिन ही खराब था, शायद
सुबह से डोरों से झूझ रहा था
फीते बंधे नही तो जूते में फसा लिए
दौड़ते ही निकल जाते
अब लट्टू टूट गया, बस डोर रह गयी


थोड़ी देर दरवाज़े को ताका
लॉक खोलने की कोशिश करी
फिर भगा लॉन की तरफ
मिटटी के धेले से लट्टू बनाया
नया लट्टू न पहले जैसा दिखता था
न ही घूमता
मगर टूटे तो बनाना आसान था


शाम को माँ से दोस्ती कर ली
फीते बाँधने आ गये
कमरा खुला, लट्टू जुड़ गया


Abilene Paradox

The Abilene Paradox

Can fear be squashed like a bug?
Jatin

Here’s a short story I wrote. In an Abilene paradox a group of people collectively decide on a course of action that is counter to the preferences of many (or all) of the individuals in the group. Sometimes, the phrase “Road to Abilene” is also used to refer to this.


(Opens as PDF in Google Drive)

No Fear

Fear and Learning

Learning and teaching are difficult. When someone tries to teach, they expect results. To ensure results are acceptable, exams are taken. To force desired results, fear is alarmingly popular.

Driving

I get anxious in crowded places. For me it is a nightmare to drive on a road with bumper to bumper traffic with people looking for a chance to cross. Sadly, where I live, this is what the roads look like most part of the day. So I took driving classes. The instructor, a young guy, realized that I learn quick but failed to accept that I can have trouble driving.

But when I am anxious, I don’t act proper. When the traffic is heavy, I get concerned about everything around me. Sometimes, I’d stop to wait for a car to pass. The instructor wanted me to concentrate on driving. I’d skip changing gears or switch to the wrong one.

It appeared as if I was ignoring what he said. This irritated him. After all, he had taught me everything and I had demonstrated that. He could not fix my distractions. In turn, he triggered my anxiety by shouting. He told me that I must not make mistakes because it bother “him”. Well, I couldn’t care less, but I tried. His attempts to treat me like a school kid made me smile.

School teachers

The instructor acted similar to teachers who go from motivational to insulting without affecting a change. They get frustrated despite good intentions. Over the years, they come up with more techniques, trademark remarks, punishments or tricks to make kids learn. Some stick to fear in varied forms. Expertise in a subject is one thing, understanding learning is another.

Exams

It is not what a teacher thinks the kids know. It is what the kids know. This is where exams come, to establish learning has happened. Students do everything to pass exams. Under pressure, we tend to fake. Exam is not a guarantee of learning. We know that from friends who were bright yet failed or those who passed but didn’t grasp basics. Like a driver’s license gives permission to drive but doesn’t guarantee that you will be not be rash.

At school, homework is evaluated to ensure that you have practiced. But how should we practice? I have never been into a discussion which talks about how to practice. Although, countless times I have been asked my rank, grades and marks.

Learning

The assumptions related to why and how to learn go unchallenged.  Each one of us, carves an individual style. We figure out what works for us and what doesn’t. However, we continue to believe in techniques that work for all.

The problem is that common techniques do not help everyone. Attention to individuals is considered a burden. Do you know at least one person who paces up and down while preparing for exams? Or the one who switches off all the light except the table lamp?

It is convenient to make the whole group learn in the same way. No doubt, this fails quite so often. Then we resort to seeding fear. Fear of punishment, failure, shame, underachievement and ridicule. Fear may make kids practice and score marks. It does not foster curiosity and makes dangerous associates. Like school with punishment, failure with ridicule and exams with anxiety.

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